Category Archives: books

Book Report: Project Hail Mary

The difference between the two recent “alien” films “Disclosure Day” and “Project Hail Mary” is that Steven Spielberg is doing interviews where he is pulling a War of the Worlds – pretending that his scripted movie is a take on reality to initiate conversations about actual aliens, which I think, is so bizarre.  “Project Hail Mary” doesn’t do that.  It is pure fiction, albeit with some scientific mumbo-jumbo that sort of sounds like it could almost be legit the way in Star Trek, you just accept the premise of warp speed space travel and whatnot.

Sci-Fi is cool in that what was once imagined is now real (i.e. FaceTime, I-pads and other stuff we saw in TNG in the ’90s), so maybe some sort of new energy will fuel rockets some day – I guess it could happen….

The film stars Ryan Gosling as Ryland Grace and my guess is author Andy Weir had him in mind all along for the role.  While reading the novel Project Hail Mary, I imagined Ryan Gosling as Grace the whole time, although, the bits about Grace’s personal life and how he was more of a loner didn’t make much sense in that respect.  Maybe the character, who is never really described, should be imagined as a less attractive weird-o?

The movie does tend to follow the book’s narrative.  There are some lengthy parts where the science is explained and, basically the whole process of solving the actual problem takes months and months, which can’t really be examined in a two-hour movie.

The story unfolds in flash back style.  Ryland Grace awakens from what appears to be a coma.  He doesn’t know who he is or what he’s doing there, but he is on a spaceship.  Is he even an astronaut?  He finds two dead bodies alongside his bed and slowly he regains memories that begin with the fact that he is in fact, a middle school science teacher.

For some reason, he does know how to operate the ship.  And as his memories unfold, he remembers that he is on this space trip to find a solution to a devastating crisis on Earth.  An alien organism that Grace has coined astrophage, is eating away at the sun.  The world must come together to propose a solution. Governments convene and a task force begins plans to build and launch a one-way space mission to a solar system fourteen years away where a star appears resistant to the creatures.

Grace is recruited to help and becomes the leading expert on the little buggers.  As a former middle school teacher myself, who is both artist and art teacher, this part, although initially far-fetched, is incredibly satisfying.  Because Grace is a doctoral level scientist AND he is a great teacher.

Back to the “present” timeline, Ryland Grace encounters a friendly alien and together they work to solve this dilemma – Grace as scientist and “Rocky” as engineer.

There are so many profound take-aways from this wonderful book.  Mine is that even a middle school teacher can rise to the occasion and become the person who saves the universe.  On a smaller scale, we all have special gifts that can make a difference, and sometimes we have a greater purpose than the one we think we have.

Did I make a difference to my students?  Am I making a difference now?  Does it matter?  Art is a very solitary experience.  Yesterday I realized that I am happiest when I am alone and in creation mode.  I loved that Ryland Grace continues to work alone, mainly, to figure out how to save Earth even when he knows he’ll never return and will not actually know if he succeeds.  He still tries – not for money, not for accolades but for the hope that his life will have meaning.

You’ll laugh.  You’ll cry.  I promise you, it will be worth it.  Read the book even if you’ve already seen the movie.  It’s soooo good.

I got my copy of Project Hail Mary from the public library and, no surprise, I borrowed the one with the large print, which makes reading at night a no-brainer.  I read the last chapters at 3:00 AM this morning.  There’s something to reading a book that takes place in the vastness of space – in the middle of the night.  You really feel like you are right there with Ryland (in my case Ryan) and that is pretty amazing).

P.S. The movie is available on Amazon Prime.

Book Report: The Catcher in the Rye

I just finished reading The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger.  I’m digesting it now.  I read a couple of articles on the Internet where people are expressing their thoughts about the book, reminiscing about having had it assigned as literature in high school English classes.  I did read it when I was a teenager and at that time I thought I understood Holden Caulfield until that guy killed John Lennon in 1980 and that other guy tried to kill Reagan in 1981, both of whom carried copies of the book with them, having cited that they aligned with the character’s alienation.  I was like, what the hell???  There is nothing in that book that suggests murder.

But suicidal thoughts, yes.

The opinions of all of these other people made me question whether we had all read the same book.  But then I realized that we all stamp our own thoughts and perspectives on novels, don’t we?  We read with our human existence slant – and yet, a great novel takes that into consideration and allows for interpretation, doesn’t it?

That is what makes The Catcher in the Rye sooo good.

Reading it again – wow – there are things in there that make you understand Holden and, after watching a documentary on Jerry Salinger, there are things about him that make the writing of this novel catharsis for both he and his protagonist.

  1.  Holden Caulfield’s brother Allie has died from leukemia.
  2. Holden has an area of gray hair on his head.  Although not mentioned as such, this is a sign of trauma – normally of a physical nature.  He mentions that he’d been hospitalized and could not attend his brother’s funeral due to having injured his fist after punching a wall, but he also says that the gray tuft has been there for as long as he can remember.
  3. Holden alludes to physical abuse again when he thinks his former teacher is caressing him inappropriately after calling him handsome.  He claims to be a virgin and keeping that innocence appears to be something he values – but – did something else happen to him???  Something much darker than what is offered?  Was he sexually abused somewhere along the line?

Holden is a person who cannot seem to process/verbalize his emotions due to these circumstances.  He is angry.  He swings and misses every time he tries to connect with people.  Then he reflects on the experiences and wishes he could have a redo.  He doesn’t hate these people because, it is implied that, he sort of hates himself.

Being the catcher in the rye is a daydream he has – that he wishes he could prevent children from physical pain, to rescue them if they get too close to a cliff.  He couldn’t save his brother.  He couldn’t prevent a tragic consequence of bullying involving another student that has happened at one of the many prep schools of his revolving door high school experience.

He knows he’s disappointed his upper crust father.  His mother has frequent headaches and relies on a housekeeper to rear her youngest (a daughter).  His older brother has left home for a successful writing career on the west coast.  The part where Holden complains about Hollywood-types parallels Jerry’s disdain for them – he never wanted to sell the film rights to his books.

Holden is on the precipice of destroying himself and it is his sister who lures him back with unconditional love.  He realizes that he wants to protect her.

Jerry Salinger was in the Battle of the Bulge on D-Day.  Surviver’s guilt is definitely a theme in The Catcher in the Rye.  It’s so much more than a story about teen angst.

Holden is from a wealthy family.  He has his own money, he’s attractive, he is well-read and well-bred.  On the surface he has the type of success that constitutes the American dream.  That is why I find this story so compelling.  The first person narrative offers the reader an insider’s view of this boy’s thoughts and views.  He makes decisions that are far too dangerous for a child his age.  I mean, was Manhattan as dangerous back in the late ’40s/early ’50s as say, the ’70s?  Or now?  He is tall, white, with a crew cut and a suit and tie, with money in his pocket – I don’t know.  I can’t imagine any sixteen-year-old in 2026 doing the things he does.  The cost of living back then, of course, was quite a bit less expensive than it is today.  It is a type of urban fairy-tale in a way:  Alice in Wonderland but with smoking, drinking and a whore/pimp thingy.  Holden knows where he is and yet, he is still profoundly lost.

The book starts and ends in this slice-of-life thing – we don’t really know what has happened prior to his brother’s death and we don’t really know if he is going to be okay.  If Holden was a real person, he’d be ninety-one today.  Salinger died in 2010.  He lived to be ninety-one.  I like to imagine that he, like Salinger, pushes through the PTSD, the emotional turbulence filled with bouts of anger and grief, and becomes a non-sell-out writer too.

I borrowed my copy of The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger from the public library.  You can get a copy here.

Book Report: The Other Man

The Other Man by Michael Bergin reads like a novel.  It is incredibly engrossing – is that the right word?  I could not put it down and basically spent all day immersed in this true story from the former model’s perspective.

I loved this book.  Michael Bergin starts with the day he meets Carolyn Bessette in New York City in the early ’90s only a few days after he’d moved to New York City to pursue a modeling career.

He then goes back in time to his youth growing up in Connecticut, his family, friends, early and awkward relationships, and some hijinks leading to fights and stuff like that.  This part is so honest because he allows himself to be vulnerable.  Naturally, the reader (me) immediately cares about him.

Michael meets Carolyn in a bar.  They have an on-again off-again thingy that is sex driven but it is also about visiting his family on weekends and later her family all while she is also seeing John F. Kennedy, Jr.

Carolyn is secretive about her life – deflecting direct questions (“he’s just a friend”) and that part is so weird.  I guess people who date multiple partners have to do that because otherwise they wouldn’t be able to continue stringing them along.

My take was that Michael didn’t have a lot of money and she liked surrounding herself with wealthy people and had the expectation she would manifest riches.  He would go on these modeling assignments and the pay was actually less than what it cost to travel to the venue after paying the modeling agency their cut and paying photographers to get the photos for his portfolio and whatnot.

He wins the Calvin Klein underwear campaign after Marky Mark is essentially fired for a past indiscretion (a combo of fighting and spewing racial slurs).  But Michael seems sure that Carolyn had nothing to do with getting him that job.  I kind of think she did.  I think that she wanted him to be successful and she must have put a good word in for him/vouched for him. She was the publicist for CK and they valued her opinion.

The climb to fortune takes a back seat to fame for Michael but eventually he becomes an actor and moves to Los Angeles for Baywatch.  I think the most surprising reveal, aside from her three abortions, was that Carolyn continues seeing him after she gets married.

I don’t understand how she was able to be incognito at that time, that part, IDK,  I mean, she visited him in California and they walked around the neighborhood and went into shops together and nobody noticed?  It was different in the ’90s.  I don’t think cell phones had cameras, right?  I didn’t get a cell phone until 2014 so I have no idea when that technology started making stealth actions harder to maneuver.

I wonder what her mother thought of this book.  And I wonder if Carolyn  confided in her family regarding her feelings, her decisions and all that or if she was so emotional (borderline personality disorder???) because she didn’t feel she could trust anyone.  She appears clingy and needy one minute and distant the next – what the hell is that?

That speculation – that’s what we all do to fill in a narrative.  We use our own perspective to decipher someone else’s life because we are busy bodies who love to pass judgment.  And Michael confesses to sharing his life with his family.  His parents knew about Carolyn before they met her, as his parents are depicted as highly supportive and loving.

After I finished reading the book, I Googled him.  I am happy to report that Michael Bergin is now a successful real estate agent and he is still with his wife Joy.  He married her in 2004, the same year the book was published.  They are a beautiful couple with two lovely children who are now adults, a daughter who is modeling and a son who plays baseball for the Marlins.

I think the only way Michael Bergin could have moved on with his life is the way it happened.  Not to say that Carolyn had to die so tragically, but their rather toxic relationship, IMO, would have never gone the distance.  It was almost as if people who have such a strong physical connection sometimes cannot verbalize their feelings and the result is excessive fighting.  Maybe it has to do with not being able to come to terms with perceived flaws or insecurities, or just  not trusting in positive outcomes.  I really don’t know.

I remember when JFK Jr.’s plane went down and we were all glued to the TV news hoping it wasn’t true, hoping they would be found alive and safe, because we all thought John-John would be the POTUS one day.  But none of us knew him.

Maureen Callahan has this YouTube channel called The Nerve where she loves to debunk things – like when she finds out hot gossip or sourced out truth about celebs, she takes them to the woodshed, lol.  And she has a lot to say about the Kennedys and how they destroyed and still destroy the women surrounding them.  She thinks that Carolyn’s husband was a dumb-ass.

People will believe what they want to believe.  I choose The Other Man.   It’s quite a remarkable “love story”.  And P.S., Michael Bergin is still very handsome.  I wish him only the best.

 

Book Report: The Alchemist

The Alchemist by Paul Coelho is my favorite book.

Is that enough of a book report?

My heart aches for my Personal Legend.  This is a book about a Spanish boy named Santiago who dreams of treasure then embarks on a physical journey to find it.

He encounters helpful strangers, as well as danger, in this quest to manifest material wealth.  He ends up discovering that his power comes from within, specifically, from his heart, because that’s the magic of spirituality.

Yesterday someone called me a homebody.  I took umbrage with that carelessness.  He obviously hasn’t read The Alchemist nor does he even know what my journey has been.  Doesn’t know the choices I’ve made to get to this point or you know, what I’ve sacrificed along the way, or ultimately, that up until this reread, I’d started to feel like I ended up in a corner with no other moves left with the exception of despair.

Reading these beautiful words released me from that burden of emotional disappointment, of all the waiting for the dreams to come true.  I’m sure, unless you are a soulless person wandering the Earth, like that theory that some of us are just extras in the lives of others, that you (plural) have had your own existential crises.

Coelho is a Catholic.  He enjoys the commonality of faith and yet he also understands the esoteric language of the Thoth text – The Emerald Tablets, the idea that we are all the same, God is within, and because of this, we are all powerful.

This is helpful to know, or at least to ponder, wonder and desire to be true.  That we all have the ability to make dreams come true – to pursue them generously, purposefully and without doubt.

The part that is baffling to some – discovering your true purpose.  Coelho’s Alchemist teaches that this is indeed an emotional journey.  That your heart will lead you to it.  To follow your heart because it will never let you down.

And, like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz (which makes me trust that L. Frank Baum had some of this belief in him), Santiago finds the goods in his backyard, too, so to speak.

You don’t have to search the universe to find what you are looking for, unless, like many of my friends do, you have a wanderlust to explore.  Just trust in yourself to make the right decisions.  And also trust that even the things you deem as mistakes are lessons/part of the journey/teachable moments to steer you in the direction of that elusive Personal Legend.

Okay, so, that is my take.  Maybe to you The Alchemist will be just another novel about taking a trip to Egypt to see the pyramids.  Maybe you like those journey novels, like Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings.  I don’t know.  Maybe you are, in fact, heartless?  I don’t really believe that.  But I do believe in the magic of the universe, the signs or omens as they are stated in The Alchemist.  Once you discover what it is that you want with your whole heart, the universe conspires to bring it to you.  Yes, the Alchemist can turn lead into gold, but he can’t teach you how to do it.  He can only teach you to reach inside of yourself to find the resources in there that will catapult you to the life you truly desire.

I used to gift this book to people who were moving away because I wanted them to understand that when you go someplace else, you are still taking yourself with you.  The real change happens from within.  And that is the gist of it.  It’s an ongoing process/struggle/adventure.

Please read The Alchemist and let me know your take on it.  Will it be life-changing?   For me, yes.  I feel revitalized/reinvigorated or whatever, to continue to make art regardless of the outcome.  I will forever keep this book in my possession and read it again and again from time to time.  Thank you, Paul Coelho, for this beautiful gift from your heart to mine, and to the hearts of everyone else in the world.

And P.S. – when the dream of homeownership materialized for me, having a little corner of the universe to call my own was the most significant manifestation of my life.

The Rainy Day

God bless a good rainy day.  An indoor day.

I bought more frames.  I spent the day reworking then framing the encaustic & collage target paintings, the ones that I’d created last year.  They are 5″ x 7″ hardboards mounted on 8″ x 10″ chalkboard.  I will photograph them tomorrow then post the results.

I boxed up (with the boxes from the frames) a bunch of books I’m planning to sell, part of my attempt to purge/de-clutter – I’m in the process of getting rid of things stored in the basement to make room for more art storage.  Eventually, I will sell more art thereby having space to make more (or buy a bigger house).

I also finished my third reread of The Alchemist by Paul Coelho.  I will be writing a book report in a bit – I need the experience to digest.  It felt different this time because I have had more life experiences and am more attuned to esoteric language.

In addition, I’m preparing for the art show at East Syracuse Free Library.  I created the information sheet/price list.  The installation is scheduled for May 1, 2026.  The plan is to show the encaustic trees AND the new encaustic heart paintings.  They will be resting on table easels and displayed at the top of the bookshelves.

Karen Tashkovski, CHERRY, 2026, 6” x 8” encaustic & collage mounted on 11” x 14” chalkboard
Karen Tashkovski, BESTIE, 2026, encaustic & collage, 9” x 12”

What did you do today???

Book Report: Ask Not

Ask Not:  The Kennedys and the Women They Destroyed by Maureen Callahan is HEAVY.

Maureen has a YouTube channel called The Nerve, and I do enjoy it.  I like her wit and her strong opinions about people she dislikes.  It’s fun to hear her command of the English language peppered with swears, her long stare-into-the-camera pauses and the way her anger is mixed with plenty of laughter.

I can only watch her in small doses, though, as I do get fed up with the idea of a person making a living by talking about how other people choose to live their lives.  It’s quite a bit of complaining.  And yet, I was curious about her writing style.  I knew she would find a way to allow her personality to shine through the dense material and overall, it would be a good use of my time.  I did, after all, grow up in a house with a reliquary in the kitchen that contained family icons next to Jesus along with a framed picture of JFK.

I spent three days reading her narrative on these Kennedy women (which includes extensive research, a full bibliography and index in the back of the book).   I didn’t like the vastly negative experiences in this biographical collection but I was also compelled to  continue, because I heard her voice as I was reading.  It was a weird thing.  Maybe I was like the Kennedy women, trapped in a promise to myself or whatever.

Maureen skips around with dates and time then reels us back in to tie it all together, and with a Jackie O tear-jerking finale.  The opening chapter delves into Carolyn Bessette Kennedy and that whole shit show then transitions into Jacqueline Kennedy (later Onassis).  She touches upon Marilyn Monroe’s dalliances but there was nothing there that I didn’t already know.

I learned about other wives and girlfriends, and also murder and rape victims, as well as the various teenage White House staffers circa 1960.

The book made me feel physically ill.  I have a headache thinking about it.  I think Maureen’s point is that the men are to blame for the ruin of these women, but, truly, I don’t agree with that assessment.  It suggests things happen to you not through you.  You are in charge of your reality.  There are always better options.

I don’t understand people (women) who make connections with men for the purposes of money and power.  These women got abused mentally and physically then either got very sick and died or killed themselves.  Drugs and alcohol were prominent vehicles here, as though this is/was a perfectly acceptable and common solution.  The recklessness, the entitlement and promiscuity of the men was major yuck-yuck, and for the women, their decision to believe that their looks were a strong enough commodity to keep their men happy was delusional.  None of them were loved!

I felt like I’d been taken hostage by this book and tortured, as though I was feeling all the feels, the pain, the abuse instead of being the detached voyeur.  Maybe because these were real people and I was tapping into their residual energies?  Most of the women have passed away, some are still alive but, following extensive therapy have moved on (two are living off the money obtained from their book deals) – I am sorry they lived through all this darkness.  It was all so messy.

Maureen Callahan is a brilliant writer.  Read it and weep because there is no joy.  I’m going to go and play with my cat now.  I need to reconnect with happiness.

 

Book Report: From Here to the Great Unknown

I watch a lot of YouTube videos.  I cancelled all other pay stations and streaming formats.  A couple of days ago, I watched a video where Riley Keough was being interviewed about an autobiography she co-wrote with her mother.  I thought she was incredibly poised and present as I watched a number of these videos – they kept coming up in my feed as the sort of creepy algorithm YouTube has.

Then I noticed that these videos happened a year ago, which meant that I might find the book, From Here to the Great Unknown by Lisa Marie Presley and Riley Keough, at the library.

I did.

It only took a few hours to read and I am still digesting it.  I guess if I am going to be as vulnerable, I will tell you that I was jealous of Lisa Marie when I was a kid.  She was five years younger than me and she was placed upon a pedestal from birth.

I remember when her father had died because I was delivering the Syracuse Herald-Journal newspaper at the time, the one with the Elvis is Dead headline on the front page.  He was only four years older than my dad, and at that time I didn’t understand drug and alcohol abuse except to judge that people who do that are scuzzy.

Education was something my parents instilled in me, and I always thought that if I did well in school, I’d do well in life.  I’d be wealthy and happy, and healthy.

But that is not the way life really works.  You would think Lisa Marie had everything since she already had the wealth.  In the book, she talks about her childhood following the loss of her father and how turbulent that was.  Her education was a shit show.  Her mother is depicted as unfit, but really – you have to ask yourself – what part of what happens to you is your responsibility?

I’d say all of it.  She chose to follow in her father’s footsteps with alcohol and drugs.  I think she was in a dark place when she’d begun this autobiographical journey via recording herself sharing her snippets, so the majority of her memories are a downer.  A lot of her life was actually quite lovely, as confirmed by Riley’s poignant additions – her first marriage and the love Lisa found in caring for her children, for example.  She recorded three studio albums and I think she was a great singer with emotional depth.

But, like Julian Lennon, the media’s interaction with her always led back to Elvis.  Julian Lennon sounds so much like his father and looks so much like him, but he is also so talented in his own right and yet, I have never viewed an interview (and I have seen loads thanks to YouTube) where the interviewer did not mention John Lennon.  How weird that would be if I had an art show and instead of feeling like I was on the precipice of success and fame, someone asked me about my parents?

Lisa Marie was very young when she married Danny Keough and fourteen years later I remember reading in Vogue magazine about Riley Keough modeling on the Paris fashion runways.  I was like – what the fuck is this?  Why isn’t she in middle school?  Why is she living this adult life already?

Jealousy, you see?

But this book discloses the dark underbelly of fame and how money cannot buy happiness.  Even though it is told with a loving compassion, it is still unsettling to read, albeit briefly, how Lisa Marie left her husband because she was seduced by what she believed was a common denominator of tragic consequence of being in the limelight, being sought after for who you appear to be rather than who you are – that mutual twin flame thing that Michael Jackson appeared to offer her.  How fucked up that she was so naive to believe that malarkey and it sort of happened again with Nicholas Cage who’d had an obsession with Elvis.  That marriage lasted about one hundred days.

There are lots of things left unsaid in this life story and so you get only a sampling of the family’s inner sanctum dynamics – the tragic death of Lisa’s son Ben is particularly heart-wrenching.  That boy was the spitting image of Elvis and could have probably had a marvelous singing career of his own but had a heck of a time finding his true purpose in life.

I watched a video that suggested that actor Daniel Craig plans to leave no inheritance to his children, which seems like a person who doesn’t understand the family first rule to life.  But maybe this is why – maybe he’s afraid they’ll off themselves via substance abuse or lose it all only to end up homeless.  Like with the Vanderbilts, who squandered everything their patriarch accumulated back when nobody had to pay income tax in the U.S., all because they didn’t think about or care about how they would contribute to society on their own.

I know a lot of people who aren’t particularly happy with their lives, which leads them to slide into drugs or alcohol followed by a never ending array of medical problems, both physical and mental.  They cannot find their way out of that paper bag because the solution can only come from within.

Riley mentions in her prose (which is delineated by a different font in the book) that she hasn’t the stomach for alcohol.  I have the same thing.  I don’t drink.  I used to have a glass of wine or two back in the ’90s, like on the weekends when we all went out to the bars in Armory Square.  I would always get sick afterwards, as well as hate myself for the way I behaved while inebriated.  I was doing it to fit in and to be liked and all that foolishness.

So that is the thing about Lisa Marie:  she didn’t really care what people thought of her because she was hardest on herself.  She pulled herself out of it a few times then spiraled to the point of no return.  It’s really sad.

I still think addiction is scuzzy, because it puts people in an altered state and really, the only way you can be truly happy in this life is if you live it with presence of mind, listening to the guidance of positivity.  But what do I know?  I do what I do and make the choices that I make and that is fine for me.  It is not my place to tell/teach/suggest to/preach to people on how to live.

They won’t listen anyway, and that is the true tragedy for those left behind.

I’m not jealous anymore, although I do wish that I’d had a daughter like Riley Keough.

From Here to the Great Unknown by Lisa Marie Presley and Riley Keough is available here.

Book Report: Wuthering Heights

You Tube is agog with every content creator jumping on the Wuthering Heights bandwagon, from movie goers/critics to literary scholars and nerds.

There is a new film adaptation of this classic tale by Emily Bronte where the title is in quotes, akin to porn or something, as referenced by the theatrical trailer.  Every movie version of this story focuses on what people see as a passionate love story between two people in a forbidden love who are forced into limerence by no fault of their own.

None of that makes sense to me after having completed my read through.

The literarians like to focus on the author’s backstory to find clues as to why she wrote this novel/where she got the idea, etc.  Emily Bronte and her sisters were spinsters in the 1800s.  All three of them wrote novels.  Their brother was a failed artist who lusted after a married woman then died of a broken heart; they also had two additional siblings who died in childhood along with their mother (and later they buried their father).  And Emily herself died of tuberculosis just three years after publishing her novel, which she wrote as a twenty-seven-year-old with no experience in the love department.

Emily Bronte

With that noted, there must have been contempt inside of her.  I have a friend who likes to watch those Real Housewives TV shows.  She enjoys the mayhem because she is not exposed to drama in her real loving family life and she finds those people hilarious.  I’m guessing that before the discovery of antibiotics,  there were a lot of people in the Bronte era dying young from colds and such, which made for the real life mantra life sucks then you die.  Here, I’m assuming that their household was not as wonderful as my friend’s is, and so they didn’t find the humor in it

It took me a week to get through Wuthering Heights because I kept needing to get some distance away from these miserable characters.  I felt miserable too – it was so weird.  I was feeling bothered by the littlest things in my own life that normally don’t get to me and I kept wondering why I was feeling this dark cloud over my head thing.  And then I was like – oh, yeah – it’s the book.  It’s a giant negative energy, but only in the way that pseudo-friend you have is, the one who talks badly/gossips about people and basically gives you their backstory from their own opinion of the truth.  And then it takes you days to clear your head of that shit.

So why did I stick with it?  Emily Bronte’s structure fascinates me.  A man rents a house in the moors, ingratiates himself with the owners and then, after snooping around on a bookshelf and finding a diary, he invades its privacy and secretly reads the words of a young Catherine Earnshaw.  He then mentions her name to Heathcliff, the landowner, and is intrigued by the man’s reaction.

Because this man, Lockwood, is obviously a busy-body with nothing better to do.  Apparently, he is on some sort of vacation from his life. He decides to engage the housekeeper in exchanging gossip about these people.

Thus begins this information dump complete with the woman’s recollections of dialogue, as well as her opinions about the characters inserted throughout.  Clearly, when someone is talking about other people, they see themselves as the hero/heroine, as Ellen/Nelly Dean tends to do here, so you don’t get the “truth” just her version of it.

Catherine and her brother grow up alongside their adopted brother Heathcliff.  Catherine and Heathcliff are equally naughty children.  The brothers don’t get along.  Their mother dies, followed by their father.  Catherine meets the neighbors, father, mother and a brother and sister.  The neighbors are wealthy.  They are blondes.  Catherine and her brother have brown hair, Heathcliff is described as of Indian or a Chinese-mix ethnicity with black hair and eyes.  The neighbors don’t like Heathcliff either.

So, his only friend is Catherine, and she’s actually a bitch.  She does tell Nelly that she feels like she and Heathcliff are the same person, meaning the same personality, which appears accurate, although Heathcliff, while eavesdropping, hears all the negative things she says and decides to leave.  They are both about fifteen years old at this time.  Apparently, in his absence, he gets educated and gets money somehow (undisclosed) and upon his return three years later, Catherine is married to the neighbor and is also pregnant.  Heathcliff – is he in love with her or does he just want to spend time with his sister?  You know?  It’s kind of weird.

Upon his return, she pendulum swings, saying mean things about both men, then nice things.  She doesn’t know what she wants, she has everything and yet is unhappy – Catherine obviously has a case of Borderline Personality Disorder.  She starves herself, gives birth and promptly dies.  Heathcliff goes into a deep mourning and is angry at the world and everyone in his vicinity.

He marries Catherine’s sister-in-law, they have a kid, he is mean to them.  Cut to the children growing up – Catherine’s daughter, her brother’s son and Heathcliff’s son.

At the end of the novel, only two are still alive, lol.  It’s a drop dead fest.  No real hero’s journey, except we get this dialogue from Heathcliff towards the end that gives you a sense that his contempt was all retaliation, and it is sad.  I actually cried.

In life, it is really important to not react to provocation.  That happiness is an inside job.  Unfortunately for the characters and for the author, I’m speculating, they did not get that memo.

If you still want to read this book after this report, know that the structure of this story is so original, that your interpretation will be different from mine because it is set up to include you as the voyeur to the proceedings, since it is coming from the POV of a spectator with her own opinions of her employers.  And this is what makes Wuthering Heights a classic.

Some people get a spiritual/ghostly thing-a-ma-bob here – it’s that Victorian Gothic mood they enjoyed to infuse, but I didn’t bite on that.  And, as many of you may have seen the Margot Robbie movie recently, you might read it searching for the romance and you might find it, the way the woman who wrote Fifty Shades of Grey turned Twilight  into a BDSM fantasy.

I’m waiting for a reinterpretation a la the people who wrote the Brooklyn 99 TV series, where the characters say the exact same dialogue that is in the book but it is in the tone of comedy zingers.  Now that would be a movie worth watching – maybe even a mini-series.  Can I manifest that?

P.S. – I borrowed my book from the public library.  It was the large print version.  You can buy one here.

 

Book Report: The Secret of Secrets

I am a Dan Brown novel nerd.  I collect the illustrated copies of his novels and have them on display on a table in my living room.  Not all of his books have gotten the illustrated treatment (and I have read them all), but I have no doubt that The Secret of Secrets will eventually get it due to Brown’s dedication to placing his protagonist, Robert Langdon, in the Czech Republic (is that what they call Czechoslovakia these days?).  And that is a new location for him to be.  All of the places described in the story are real locations.

I’ve never been to Prague so the visuals in that future illustrated incarnation of the novel will be a welcome addition.

I borrowed my copy from the public library – and allow me to give a shout out of gratitude to the East Syracuse Free Library for having a “large print” copy of said text.  Easy peasy, that, to read in daylight, lamp light and near Christmas tree lights.  It took me a week to read the almost nine hundred page thing but only because I read in short bursts due to juggling a bunch of other activities in my life, including road trips and immersing myself in a six dozen strong new series of encaustic paintings.

The entire story of The Secret of Secrets by Dan Brown takes place in the course of a day, mainly, with a bit of exposition regarding the night before and a relatively quick two-day wrap up.

I think I was reading it like an editor.  There were some things that bugged me, like early on when Katherine makes a joke about George Clooney, who was already married two years before Brown started writing the story.  Another thing – the pacing:  later, a lot of dialogue takes place before a catastrophic event that is supposed to happen within fifteen minutes and it took me more than fifteen to read what they are saying to each other, that sort of thing.  Do I not read fast enough or did time slow down?  In that particular case, the guy holding the gun is giving information to people he plans to kill – such a James Bond/Dr. Who/villainesque diatribe.  And of course, the worst offense, the bit where Robert Langdon is in love with a woman he doesn’t know well.  They call each other Robert and Katherine – not Rob or Bobby, not Kathy or Katie?  They are actually having their first hotel tryst and there is no sex.  No sexy either – no romantic banter that would be considered private joke shorthand, you know?  I’m guessing that Dan Brown’s fans are mostly a geriatric crowd but we are all still vibrant, attractive people who fuck.

Additionally, these two people don’t think alike.  She believes in consciousness as it moves around the universe like energy and connects us to one another, with the additional fiction that it can be monitored and accessed  into a conventional science.  He – not so much, but he admires her ideas.  Oh, and then there are a couple jabs that she is an older woman (by four years) after she teases his fitness level, and later, his fashion choices.  She also teases his history lesson offerings.  I don’t know – it is…awkward.

Lastly, and this is the biggest, the whole thing is about the greatest secret to being successful in life, and that is to be fearless about death – spoilers – that what happens after death is the big secret.  And yet, there is no mention of emotion guiding one’s gut.  No stay positive message, which to me is always the correct path and takeaway.  Unfortunately, provoking fears is the whole secret to writing a good thriller.

So those were my criticisms.

I do applaud Brown for taking his beloved character, aging him (Langdon is in his fifties now), and creating another adventure that is different than the plots of the other books.  Yes, there is a creepy shadowy character like there was in The DaVinci Code, but there is an unexpected climax to that.  A lot of the story is told in exposition via several different perspectives and we get only enough to move the story forward.

Now, if these voices told us everything at once, meaning, like, if we were privy to everything in their mind during their tenure as point of view character, there would have been no story.   Why didn’t you just tell me that when you had the chance? – sort of thing.

The book would have still worked if Robert and Katherine had spent the day sightseeing instead of becoming embroiled in a quest for information, IMO.  That would have been a great twist to Brown’s writing.

Overall, I enjoyed the read.  There is a thrill at the end when you put a giant book down akin to having successfully climbed a mountain.  And there is also a satisfaction in coming away from an immersion in another, shall I say alternate universe?  In Brown’s novel, it is referred to as non-local consciousness and being able to harness it into a virtual reality in some way.  Perhaps one could lose oneself so unwittingly, that one becomes someone else by changing one’s neural plasticity.  I think I’m saying that right.  And by one I mean me.

Every piece of The Secret of Secrets’ puzzle left me wanting to get to the conclusion – I’ll give Brown that.  He’s good at that.

I was held hostage reading about an exhausting twelve hour rollercoaster ride of dangerous maneuvers where characters didn’t have time to go to the bathroom or change their wet shoes.  I kept thinking, Langdon is supposed to be a rational thinker who stumbles into New Age ideologies.  Instead, he adopts irrationally provoked decisions, which almost get him killed.

None of that seems fun in real life.  I thought he and Katherine were finally going to have sex but then he falls asleep.  Then, a couple hours later he is awakened by a phone call – there is more to the story that needs to be wrapped up and the couple must reenter the drama – no quickies, no kissing, nothing.

Brown does a good job sticking to his outline in order to drive the book to a tidy conclusion.  None of these characters are good vs. evil, and there are a lot of characters, all just people doing their jobs or rather, making loose cannon decisions masked as duties.

Robert Langdon is the only fish out of water here.  He’s only there to be Katherine Solomon’s sexless plus one, lol, and he ends up using his symbolic expertise and historical factoids to save the day.  What a nerd.

 

Book Report: Sunrise on the Reaping

Recently, I found out that my gut feeling about a friendship was spot on.  Several years ago I was betrayed by someone regarding a relationship I had with a man I cared for deeply.  I cringe just thinking about all the times I poured my heart out to this woman and I feel like such an idiot.

No matter how all flowers and butterflies we try to spin our world, we really need to listen to our respective guts.  And I take full responsibility for my role/naiveté in this disastrous chapter of my life.  It is not anyone’s fault.  I did this to myself, although maybe she was inadvertently doing me a favor.  Men don’t belong on pedestals.

Now, law of attraction-wise, religion-wise and otherwise, we all know that what you believe becomes your truth.  I ignored how  other people judged her because I was practicing and still try to  promote positive energy values, the kind that eventually lead to desires materializing.

It’s funny how new information erupts those memories.  In hindsight, you see it all clearly, how your actions contributed to the reality.  Why did I overshare?  My consequence was humiliation, embarrassment, isolation…the kind of stuff that heals with a new relationship and better friend choices.  Nobody died.

Reading Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins was a wonderful way for me to escape the ruminating and relate to someone else’s decision making catastrophes based on their grim circumstances.   We know Haymitch’s story.  He is portrayed by Woody Harrelson in the Katniss Everdeen Hunger Games trio of movies.  We know he wins the games as a teen and we know he becomes a drunk to escape the horrors of this dystopian premise where children from the Districts are sent to fight to the death for the pleasure of a viewing audience and to commemorate a horrendous civil war.  This is supposedly the future of the United States of America.

The children (ages 12-18) are selected in a reaping ceremony on the 4th of July.  In Haymitch’s case, his selection does not come from the sorting jar and is basically, to him, unfair.  I mean, let’s face it, you care about him from the get-go.  He is a dutiful son and a loving boyfriend to a Covey girl.  He is trying to protect her when it happens.

So here’s the thing:  Suzanne Collins is a self-proclaimed army brat.  She grew up around the military and around conversations of war and destruction and so forth.  So there is a very sad tone to the novels, where people are living in poverty and seem to feel guilty for trying to steal a modicum of happiness.  People are basically, doomed.  And there is tremendous violence in these novels.  I am really not sure how she concocts all these different ways for people to die via weapons, poison, drone attacks, fire, et al.  Somehow she invents new scenarios that leave you completely grossed out.

The Coveys are the only group, a band of gypsy singers trapped in District 12 as we learned in Collins’ previous prequel, who resonate with New Age thinking – eternal life stuff, focusing on beauty, art, music, color, love, etc.

Haymitch Abernathy doesn’t really do that.  The whole time he thinks he will die.  He doesn’t expect to win and basically, keeps complaining about the situation he’s in, all while doing his best to protect others, to trust others.  He wants to be this person who acts in a way that his family and others can be proud of him.   And yet, he doesn’t think he can or will or, well, the inevitable happens.  He does end up killing a few kids.  No spoilers – he wins at the Hunger Games but he loses everything else.  His biggest fear manifests and everyone knows that fears win out in the end.  Is there a way to live without fear?  To commit to a belief system where only good things happen?  Not in Suzanne Collins’ Hunger Games world, unfortunately.

It’s tragic.  I didn’t cry for him because he quite literally goes on and on about the negative implications of his actions, he ends up allowing the negativity to defeat him and finally, he winds up hating himself.

The thing is – his gut is telling him all along what his heart wants to reject.  In the end, he spills his guts and we love him for it.  Great metaphor, Suzanne.

Lucky us in the real world with the power to choose.  Life is supposed to be fun and the whole point is to find what you like and do it.  If it is a family you want, if it is an activity you desire; if it is alone time you crave, you know?  Do that.

And even if you can achieve that rose-colored glasses outlook to life where following joy resides, trust your gut.  Because you are not even supposed to force relationships or chase happiness.  It will all come to you.  It will follow you without you having to/trying to manipulate the outcome.

Lesson(s) learned.  Thank you, Suzanne Collins, for helping me realize that I can close chapters of my life and move into new and exciting ones instead of just waiting/wanting to die.